. . .

Rain.

RAIN.

Sniffly kids.

Warm fire.

Flickering lights.

Hot coffee.

Vacuumed floors.

MORE RAIN.

Snuggly sleepy baby toddler.

Candles.

Baked apples.

Fleece blankets.

Family.

Sunday.

FALL.

documentation

Today was one of those days so far that I don't often document because I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but seriously, it was fabulous.

I (shockingly!) pre-prepped for school today so the morning went really well. I got to thoroughly enjoy my kids before they were at school and we actually laughed on the drive to drop off. That never rarely happens.

I got back from the school and instead of sitting down with my cup of coffee and having some ME-time, I got to work straight away and vacuumed, did the dishes, did a load of wash, and got Fischer fed, dressed, and all ready to go.

My friend came over at 9am and we loaded up the baby and the stroller and headed out for a brutal run. The weather was wonderful - the sun was out and there was a tiny breeze which was awesome. We "only" did 4 miles today but it was completely uphill the first 2 miles and then (obviously) downhill the way back. We felt great at the finish, but I honestly felt like I was going to die on the way up. . . but in a good way.

When I got back home I put Fischer down for a nap (that lasted for almost 4 hours!) and I made homemade rolls, showered, did another load of laundry, packed dinner for tonight (to eat after the soccer games on our way to AWANA - yes, that is our life in the fall), threw wood on the fire, did more dishes, got to talk to my hot husband on the phone and make a game plan for the weekend, AND then got to take a half hour nap.

It was amazing.

I'm looking forward to the evening (I love soccer season!) mostly because I'm going to splurge and buy a big Americano on the way to sip on during the games.

Anyway, it was just an awesome day. It's not that anything amazingly crazy happened, it's just one of those days where you feel like you're actually on top of things or completely forgetting everything that you're actually supposed to be doing.

Either way, it's been great and I'm thankful for it.

details

I sure love them, even though getting them to school makes me crazy.

Weekday mornings are just nutso around here. I swear we could get up at 4:30am and still have that last-10-minute-go-insane-scramble.

The usual rush to get out the door consists of stacking pieces of peanut butter toast that no one will eat and will inevitably end up being a monstrous pile of crumbs on the floor of my Yukon on a paper plate balanced on my lidless cup of coffee while slipping on my hot pink Crocs (yes, I'm aware there's NO valid excuse for them) and trying to stuff Jack's homework, lunch box, and soccer gear into his backpack at the same time.

Natalie and Carter are arguing over who gets to sit in the front seat (which is actually a captain's chair in the middle row, but apparently counts as the "front seat" to them because they're not allowed to ride in the actual front seat yet). I look down after attempting to break up their argument while I'm buckling Natalie's cornet case in the actual front seat (since the latch is broken and the case doesn't stay shut) and realize that my coffee is now all over the front of my no-so-flattering hooded sweatshirt.

After starting the car and heading down the driveway I feel that my legs are wet and come to realize that my 3-sizes-too-big sweat pants are soaked from the bottom to about half way up my calf because my Crocs are backless and the ground was wet.

Carter is telling Natalie she can't practice her cornet during soccer practice because it's annoying and it scares Fischer. Jack is saying he forgot to bring something for sharing and I tell him I'm sure he can find something on the floor of the car that will work just fine but hurry because we're almost there.

We pull up to the school and notice the buses are already parked in the garage and the kids fall pile out of the car.

They wait because they know.

We all take a deep breath even though we're LATE and they look at me expectantly with smiles on their little peanut butter smudged faces.


I look them each in the eyes one at a time and smile as I say, "I love you SO much!"

No matter how crazy the morning goes (and I'll be honest, they're mostly ALL crazy) the only thing that matters is that they know.

The rest is just details.

the thing is...

My scale is up six pounds and has been for about 6 weeks now.

I know that's not a lot (I KNOW) but for me it feels like it is, especially since I haven't done anything that would warrant actually gaining that much. If it were just up from this or that (ie: sodium intake, travel, dehydration, etc.) and I knew it was going to go back down I wouldn't be "worried," but it's been long enough that I realize it's not going to just go away.

I'm not freaking out that I'm going to lose all control and gain all the weight I've lost back (because I haven't lost control), I'm just putting it out there that this maintenance thing is no joke. It's HARD (and apparently I'm not doing it).

Really the only thing different from when I was at my lowest (134) to now (hovering between 139-141) is what I'm eating. I was doing the Paleo style of eating before (I stopped in the middle of summer because life got in the way I got lazy). I'm still working out plenty, I'm still counting my calories, I'm still drinking about 100 oz of water a day, I just haven't been eating CLEAN.

Apparently it makes a BIG difference.

The thing is I don't really care what the scale says. If I felt healthy and energetic at {insert any number} pounds I'd be fine with that - but I don't. I don't feel all that healthy and energetic now at 140. I actually feel like crap. And I hate that.

So, I'm going to try to go back to eating Paleo style (fruits, nuts, veggies, eggs, lean meats). I'm committing to one month (until the end of October) and then I'll reassess at that point. I just want to feel my best again. Eating Paleo style is work though. It takes planning ahead (something I suck at) and discipline (that word is offensive to my senses) and self control (gross). None of those things sound like that much fun right now, but I just need to do it. I NEED to.

Now that it's out there I guess I'm doing it.

Oh, and I did end up signing up for the half marathon in July so there's also that. Motivation in and of itself to not be a slug.

I'll keep you updated. I promise. Which, as you know, means that I'll at least  try to remember.

learning

Today is the end of the kids' first week of school (and my heart still breaks each time I get a hug and a, "See you after school, Mom!"), but I'm surviving with the help of Target, Starbucks, and kisses from my littlest little.

Each day when the kids get off the bus and into the car I ask them what their favorite thing they learned that day was. 

Here's Jack's answer from yesterday:

"Well a girl in my class had an accident on the gym floor this afternoon so I learned that if you have to go pee when it's time to run around, you should just go to the bathroom first thing. Oh and also? I learned that if you don't like green beans then just don't eat them because if you do you might throw up like a kid in my class did at snack time."

I might be drying my tears all morning after dropping my kids off but I'd take being a stay at home Mom over being a Kindergarten teacher any day this week for sure!