Monday, April 30, 2012

Because I (apparently) have no shame I'm going to give you a little advice:

Don't ask your husband when Cinco De Mayo is... He will not be impressed.

{You're welcome.}


I made the mistake of asking Carter if I looked good for 31 years old this weekend because apparently I'm a glutten for punishment.

His response?

"Well, I think it's safe to say that you look pretty good for....forty."

Right. Thankyouverymuch.

[Please disregard previous post. A girl would have never said something like that.]

Sunday, April 29, 2012

I dare you to say that again.

This weekend I was out and about with my boys while Natalie was spending the night at her cousin's house. We ran into a lady who looked our family up and down (sans Talie, obviously), pointed at my baby bump and said, "For your sake I sure hope that's a girl in there!"

Um. It's not.

Oh, and news flash, lady: It's none of your business. But because you're so inquisitive, I'll just let you know that I already love this little boy (whom I've never so much as actually laid eyes on) more than I could ever love a thousand little girls and I don't know why (even if we didn't already have a daughter) 3 boys would be considered a burden (or whatever was running through your mind).

Granted, I'm sure you were just saying that because girls are fun  blessings that happen to be completely different from boys (remember, I have one?) but they are certainly no better than boys. I have the children that God wants me to have - and there could not (honestly) be any others that I could possibly love more than the three four He's blessed me with.

Not to mention that my sons were standing right there listening to you say that and one of them asked me later why we wouldn't want another boy. [Break my heart.]

Anyway, I'm sure my frustration is just raging pregnancy hormones, but I'm impressed with how fast my protective Mama-Bear instincts came out... and I'm pretty sure God made us Moms that way on purpose - so next time, Ma'am, feel free to hold your tongue, mmkay? Thanks.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Dear BabyBoy,

You're welcome.


Saturday, April 21, 2012

I Cheated

On Thursday I had the ultrasound to make sure Baby Boy (whose previous name is officially up in the air, so for those of you whom might have heard it, we're back to the drawing board) is growing properly (sans blood clotting) and I'm so (SO, SO, SOOOO) happy to report that he's healthy and happy and very active.

It was a little difficult for the ultrasound tech to get good measurements because he would.not.hold.still. but she said (with a "fair amount of confidence") that he's approximately 5 pounds and is actually measuring a couple weeks ahead and is looking beautiful. Blood flow is good (no clotting - YAY!) and there looks to be plenty of fluid in there as well. I prayed a prayer of thankfulness and sighed a sigh of relief. Our son is looking perfectly healthy.

After the ultrasound tech got all the "technical" stuff out of the way, she informed me that our doctor's office just got equipped to do 3D ultrasounds and asked if I had a few minutes for her to take some pictures and practice.

Lemme think about it. YES, YESIDO.

It was amazing. Even though his little arms were crossed in front of his face, she could still get a couple of shots and it was just amazing to see the shape of his nose and the same furrow in his brow that so resembles Carter when he was born (think, "cute grumpy old man furrow"). I was so excited to see him...but then I immediately felt guilty.

I felt like I cheated.

Honestly, it felt like a groom seeing the bride for the first time on their wedding day before she walked down the isle...or skipping ahead and reading the last couple of pages of a book because you just can't stand to wait to the end to find out what happens.

Silly? Probably. But it was really odd seeing his features so clearly and yet not getting to kiss them.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't take it back. I loved seeing his sweet little face (the shape of his nose and his chubby cheeks) and knowing (seeing with my own eyes) that he's doing amazing was beyond good for this Mama's heart. I love him so much!

Five more weeks!

:: And I would share a couple of pictures, but I had forgotten to bring a CD with me, and our scanner isn't working. UGH. (And sorry!) ::

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Geared Up

Today I made my favorite baby purchase as of yet (not to be confused with actually purchasing a baby) - I bought my Ergo carrier!

I had found one on Craigslist this morning that I thought might be perfect (pretty good price, no pattern/girly look lest my husband refuse to wear it, etc.) only it was an "Ergo Sport" which I wasn't sure about because it doesn't have as padded of straps (we tend to have big babies - well, you know, after the first one and all) and I didn't want the straps digging into my shoulders, and it just didn't seem to have the same amount of support and I want to feel pure bliss when I wear my carrier (this baby will be in a carrier a lot).

So anyway, after deciding not to get that one, I read reviews on Amazon and found out that the Original Ergo would probably be the best fit for both Jeff and I (and the major difference in our sizes)... and then I found one for cheaper (brand new!) than the used one on Craigslist!

::  Happy Dance!  ::

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Honestly, you guys, "life" has been getting in the way of living well and it needs to stop.

No more lists (well, no more obsessing over lists). No more freaking out and counting down the days until the baby's arrival (OMGoodness, 42). No more worrying over making sure everything is perfect (newsflash: it never will be).

Seriously, I have three amazing children that need me in the details of each passing each day. Each passing day. I just have to trust everything else will (somehow) fall into place if I invest my focus on what matters most to who matters most.

Right now it's time to enjoy the moments that come and go so quickly right before my eyes with the blessings that God has so graciously given me and take the time to just listen to them. Like, for real.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Yesterday Carter informed me that he knew what a "hippie" was.

When I asked him to define it, he said, "It's a super really really old person who has a lot a lot a LOT of peace."

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Uterus Uterus Uterus (consider yourself warned)

Monday morning Jeff went to work even though he was still not feeling well (as in, not even a little bit). After about 2 1/2 hours, everyone at work just sent him home (he's not one to take the day off just because he's sick - he has the best work ethic of anyone I've ever met - seriously) so, while I was in town grocery shopping he was on his way home so he could rest up and feel better.

That was short lived.

While I was grocery shopping I started to get a sort of "crampiness" in the bottom part of my stomach - like "down low" (does that make sense?). It felt like contracting pressure, but not all over, just on the lower part (please keep in mind that even though this is baby #4, I have never even once had a contraction, so I had no idea if that's what I was experiencing or if it was "normal"). It got worse and worse and I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to drive home (but I had no choice, so I did it). As soon as I pulled up to the house I could see that Jeff was home (hallelujah!) and I went straight up stairs with tears streaming down my face and just said, "I'm so sorry. I know you don't feel good, but I need your help." From there on out he unloaded groceries (and our sleeping four year old) and proceeded to take care of me all. day. long.

It did not get better.

Finally after 3 hours of intense pain - and throwing up and laying down, and squatting, and throwing up some more and standing and just doing anything to get comfortable, which was IMPOSSIBLE - Jeff called my doctor who after listening to my "symptoms" said to immediately go to Labor and Delivery at the hospital to rule out preterm labor. YUCK.

So, my sweet husband (seriously, can you tell I love him? Because I TOTALLY do. He's way more than I deserve, that's for dang sure) who was feeling like total crap himself drove me at an average of 75 miles per hour to the hospital while I sat in the passenger seat trying to breath through the pain and at the same time trying not to throw up in the car.

We spent 4 hours at the hospital where they "checked" me (no labor - thank goodness!!), did a urinalysis and ran some tests, and eventually decided that since the cramping was getting a little better they would prescribe anti-nausea medication and Percocet for pain (I declined the latter) and send me on my way. Nice.

We went and got the prescription filled (and by "we" I mean "Jeff" because I stayed in the car lest I feel like my baby was going to fall out at any given moment just from walking). The anti-nausea medication? Yeah, I threw it up. That stuff doesn't work at all. I only attempted it once because I was nervous about taking it in the first place, but whatever.

Anyway, through the night things got better (I threw up a lot more, but the cramps subsided mostly) and the next day I slept until 10 am when I woke up to find my children already at school and husband folding clothes while gently reminding Jack to "talk quietly because Mommy needs to rest so the baby can stay healthy." Oh, how that man blesses me! He took off another day of work (the guy who NEVER takes days off work) because if I'm the one sick, it's "worth it." Ohmyheart.

So, all that to say, I went to the doctor yesterday and she scheduled an ultrasound and said with my history (multiple abdominal surgeries, preemie baby, blood clot disorder, lots of scar tissue, etc.) that we're just going to jump right into weekly visits, and schedule the c-section for the end of May.

There you have it. Our exciting week so far. I've been feeling MUCH better (although I'm super tired), but knowing that I'm about 32 weeks along and only have to go until 38 makes me feel like we're on the home-stretch (emphasis on the s t r e t c h ).

Please consider yourselves up to date on our crazy lives.

Anyway, enough about us, how has your week been going? :)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Still Got It

Since Jeff was super sick on Easter, I took the kids solo to all the festivities (poor guy! And poor me, if I'm being honest). Our first stop was to my Grandma's Lutheran church. It was a long hour and 15 minutes for the kids, although the big kids did amazingly well aside from when we sang a certain "Hallelujah" song and Carter leaned over 4 people to shout-whisper to me, "This song is from Shrek! You HATE Shrek!" thankyouforthat,son.

Towards the end of the service, I Jack started getting a little antsy so I decided for his good to take him out to the foyer and just wait for my parents and Grandma (who Natalie and Carter were sitting in between) to meet us out there.

As I walked with Jack down the stairs from the sanctuary I noticed a guy - about my age I would have guessed - staring at me. I looked behind me to see if he was waiting for someone, but no, he was looking right at me. It was obvious. I'm 8 months pregnant walking with my 4 year old not so gracefully down a flight of stairs and you know what I was thinking?

That guy is totally checking me out! 

I know, I know. Totally immature (and completely fleeting) thought, but it did cross my mind. He was staring at me (and I didn't even have toilet paper on my shoes or anything!). I was pretty ashamed of myself for even caring proud of myself.

Anyway, Jack and I kept walking and sat at the benches by the front doors and started playing I-Spy-With-My-Little-Eye until church was over and the rest of our family met us there. As we're gathered in the crowded room outside the sanctuary we're saying our goodbyes (they were all headed to my Aunt and Uncle's house and the kids and I were headed to Jeff's parent's place) when my Dad's cousin and his wife walk up to us and say hello (we didn't even know they were there). Since I hadn't seen them in forever I quickly introduced them to my kids and then Dad's cousin says, "Oh, and our son, Bryce is here, too! I'll bet you guys haven't seen each other in YEARS!"

"Bryce" squeezes through the crowd and it was at that moment I realized that when I was walking down the stairs earlier, I wasn't getting "checked out," I was getting recognized... by my cousin.

So this year Easter was pretty eventful. My husband couldn't go because he was sick and I (being left all alone and apparently vulnerable - ha!) got humbled by thinking I was getting checked out by my third cousin. Nice.

Luckily the day got better from there on out. Even though I didn't get hit on by any family members.

Saturday, April 7, 2012


I think Spring has officially, well, sprung.

We've got rain.

We've got snow.

We've got sunshine.

We've got birds chirping.

We've got an overgrown lawn that needs mowed, (but it probably won't dry up enough to get cut for another month or so).

We've got kids with way more energy than the finicky weather allows for.

We've got bear hunting.

We've got baby showers.

We've got kids that want lambs and who may or may not have suggested we just pull over on the side of the road next to a field and "grab a couple" because, "they have so many lambs, they surely won't notice three missing..." Right..

We've got packed schedules from here through, well, July.

We've got flowers blooming.

We've got a prego Mama who knows that she's only got about 7 weeks left to go (seriously, YAY for Baby Boy!).

We've got veggie starts in the window sills.


Wednesday, April 4, 2012


I've been doing a Bible study on the book of James (sorry if you thought I was announcing a baby name...) the past few months with a few of my friends and I am just amazed (and humbled!) by how much conviction and truth and amazingness was packed into the 5 short chapters that are the book of James.

One big concept of James is the idea of "perfection." I've often struggled with the idea of needing to be perfect I know, it's laughable, but seriously, I knew in the Bible it said that we are called to perfection and I've struggled with trying (and obviously failing - repeatedly) on my own to be what I thought this "perfect" meant I needed to be (thus having feelings of failure, self loathing, and guilt immediately following the inevitable "imperfection").

It says:

Matthew 5:48 "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

James 1:4 says, "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be perfect and complete, not lacking anything."

Packs a punch, no?

So anyway, after burying my head in the sand (so to speak) and feeling like I should have never even done this Bible study because surely I'm not cut out for this "perfection" thing, I read these words that were literally music to my ears:

"His call to perfection is not about achieving an abstract state of moral perfection but about living holistic lives before God...To live a life of perfection is not to make all A's or to never miss a Sunday at church; rather, it is to live a life true to our identity as children of an utterly untemptable God who never changes, shows no partiality, and has no darkness in Him at all."

- Melissa Moore Fitzpatrick

Perfection is not having a lot of money or the perfect body. It can not be found in social status. It is not about having a clean house or kids that never misbehave. It is not about never messing up or making mistakes. It is not about having all of our ducks in a row at any given time.

Perfection is not something we can achieve on our own (no matter how hard we work at presenting ourselves as such).

True PERFECTION  can only be found through living a life buried in the saving grace of Jesus Christ, God's son, the only example of pure perfection.

I am so unbelievably grateful for His grace and mercy. Neither of which I will ever deserve, but both of which I have humbly accepted. Daily.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Unexpected Outing

So.... flooded out. Not now. But we were. Over the weekend.

I guess technically we didn't have to be - Jeff called home as soon as he got to work on Friday and said, "If you're going to want to get out of the house at all between now and Sunday, you're going to want to pack up the kids and head out within the hour or it's going to be too flooded to get through the road." - so, I (obviously) packed everyone/thing up and we headed down to his parent's place.

We had a fun two days of relaxing, playing cards, playing pool, eating, visiting, and stuff and then by Saturday afternoon we decided to attempt to make it back home (we were thinking positively that the water had gone down enough after hardly any rain all day Saturday).

Riiiiiight. No such luck.

So there we were. Sitting on the impassable road that leads to our driveway wondering what to do. We did what any normal parents would do (turned the radio up in the back seat so the kids couldn't hear and thus give their unrealistic "let's drive to Florida {or wherever they can think of}!" input) and Jeff simply said, "I have an idea" and we were off.

Turns out my husband had quite the plan up his sleeve! He takes us to "town" (Eugene) where he drives to a hotel and gets a HUGE (seriously, it was b.i.g.) 2-bedroom (not to be confused with two-room - it was 2 BEDROOMS) hotel suite (that had just been built so it was niiiiiiice!). Two full bedrooms and bathrooms connected by a full kitchen and full living room and dining room. Huge. Although since we've been practically sharing a bedroom with our kids in the upstairs of my parent's house for the last 8 months, I realize that my vision of "HUGE" could be slightly off from the normal perspective. Nevertheless, it was the bigest hotel room that I had ever stayed at.

The looks on the kids' (an mine, I'm sure!) faces were priceless. They were SO excited! We brought our bags up and before we could even sit down, Jeff says, "Okay, lets get in the car!"

Without questioning where (they were having too much fun with not knowing details) the kids excitedly led the way back to the car where Jeff drove us to a nice Mexican restaurant to have dinner. It was so much fun! We don't normally go out to eat at sit-down places just the five of us because we usually only go when we're celebrating something with other people, or Jeff and I go as a date without the kids, but we were convinced that we need to more often because we really had so much fun!

Following dinner, we picked up some dessert treats and headed back to the hotel room where we hung out together watching TV and laughing and staying up entirely too late. Honestly, it was perfect.

The next morning we had a (super yummy and HOT) continental breakfast at the hotel and then instead of rushing to get packed up and ready to go by check-out time, Jeff called and asked for a late check-out, so we stayed and hung out in our room until mid-afternoon. PERFECTION I tell you. We haven't laughed that hard in a long time - it was great.

I'm not normally one to like not knowing what's going on (or not having any say), but I've got to hand it to my husband - he really did well (and scored even more major bonus points when I saw what the room cost {YIKES} and then saw the price he talked them into - having a husband who's in the business of "business" has definitely got perks!).

Anyway, a weekend with my little family ended up being more medicine for my soul than I even knew I needed.

Oh, and also? I totally love my husband and our kids. Really, really.