My heart is broken.
I am trying so hard to savor each moment and recognize it's beauty (even if it's hearing my kids argue and complain - at least can hear them - there is so much beauty in that).
One thing I believe is that God is still good. He is just and loving and faithful and righteous and there is no bad in Him. He loves each and every one of us. Yes, we (as flesh beings) make bad (horrible and unthinkable) decisions sometimes and that hurts the heart of God, but because He gives us free will - bad stuff still happens - but HE is still good. He is here to cover us with his love and see us through the days where we feel like we just.can't.go.another.minute. He'll carry us.
I choose not to live my life in fear
Even though there are countless unanswered questions, I will not doubt the goodness of God and I will be grateful for my days, working as diligently as I can to bring (through Jesus' presence in me) glory to His kingdom through each of them.