the thing is...

My scale is up six pounds and has been for about 6 weeks now.

I know that's not a lot (I KNOW) but for me it feels like it is, especially since I haven't done anything that would warrant actually gaining that much. If it were just up from this or that (ie: sodium intake, travel, dehydration, etc.) and I knew it was going to go back down I wouldn't be "worried," but it's been long enough that I realize it's not going to just go away.

I'm not freaking out that I'm going to lose all control and gain all the weight I've lost back (because I haven't lost control), I'm just putting it out there that this maintenance thing is no joke. It's HARD (and apparently I'm not doing it).

Really the only thing different from when I was at my lowest (134) to now (hovering between 139-141) is what I'm eating. I was doing the Paleo style of eating before (I stopped in the middle of summer because life got in the way I got lazy). I'm still working out plenty, I'm still counting my calories, I'm still drinking about 100 oz of water a day, I just haven't been eating CLEAN.

Apparently it makes a BIG difference.

The thing is I don't really care what the scale says. If I felt healthy and energetic at {insert any number} pounds I'd be fine with that - but I don't. I don't feel all that healthy and energetic now at 140. I actually feel like crap. And I hate that.

So, I'm going to try to go back to eating Paleo style (fruits, nuts, veggies, eggs, lean meats). I'm committing to one month (until the end of October) and then I'll reassess at that point. I just want to feel my best again. Eating Paleo style is work though. It takes planning ahead (something I suck at) and discipline (that word is offensive to my senses) and self control (gross). None of those things sound like that much fun right now, but I just need to do it. I NEED to.

Now that it's out there I guess I'm doing it.

Oh, and I did end up signing up for the half marathon in July so there's also that. Motivation in and of itself to not be a slug.

I'll keep you updated. I promise. Which, as you know, means that I'll at least  try to remember.