life randomness (as expected these days from me, amIright?)

You want to know what totally drives me crazy? Kids playing (away from me) and then telling each other they're going to "tell Mom" on the other one, then the tattle-taler running up to me and just saying, "I love you, Mom" all the while the other kid is promising them everything from their favorite pair of socks to their birth right to just. not. tell. Mom. when in reality the kid who is doing the "telling" never even planned on doing it in the first place. They just wanted to scare the other kid through some well thought out manipulation.

Drives me insane.

But anyway, how's your Spring Break going?

We had four days of glorious sunshine in a row. We got to mow the lawn (and the garden and the front field), do some gardening, wash the car, play outside, get mild sunburns and then the rains came. Now we've got bad attitudes and strep throat.

I know.

Luckily we're only one kid deep into the strep this round and hopefully it will stop there.

I'm going on a women's weekend away on Friday (through Sunday!) at the coast and I will not get sick before I get back from that. I WILL NOT. It is imperative for the well being of my whole family that I go. That I just...GO.

Despite my inability to remain sane lately, Jeff's zen-like attitude about the uncertainties of life continues to amaze me (I could learn a thing or two from my crazy-awesome husband - maybe someday I will). He never complains or whines or outwardly stresses out (lately I'm so frazzled that I flip a lid at someone leaving the toilet seat up pun intended? - needless to say, he's the calm one in the relationship).

He's solid as a rock while the question marks of life are just floating around us like balloons that we intend to pop one at a time (slowly but surely). I need that though, his solidness. His steady. His confidence. I don't have that. I mean, I do; I have peace in my heart and I know who I am, but I still get nervous and need a hand to hold when I know things are a-changin' (like knowing the inspector is at our house we're trying to sell and he's, well, inspecting it).

Taking life one day moment at a time has always been hard for me because I'm a have-it-written-out-and-planned-and-then-just-do-it sort of person and we're not in a place in our lives where we can live like that, so I'm learning. I'm stretching and trusting and whatdoyouknow, I'm still alive. And so are my kids (if, that is, they stop the fake tattling escapades).

Spring break is half over. It's raining outside. There are an insane amount of question marks on the road ahead of us, but we're together. We're balancing each other out. We're pressing on.

We're making it.

just sayin'

Getting woken up by a kiss from one of my kids is unbelievably sweet...unless it's the kid who (currently) has strep throat and he's waking me up to tell me he has to throw up.

mama needs a breather

We're getting out of Dodge for the weekend. Jeff's taking tomorrow off of work and we're going to have some fun! We're headed to a resort in Central Oregon for three care-free fun filled days with Jeff's side of the family! His parents rented a couple of houses there and a handful of us kids are going to meet up with them there. We'll play cards, the kids will swim in the indoor pool, we'll play basketball, cook yummy food, stay up late laughing our heads off - exactly what this girl needs right now.

I

can't

wait!


{Aaaaahhhhhh.}

resting

Life is stressful around these parts these days. {And by "these parts" I mean my brain.}

Wondering about big stuff like if (when!) our house will sell. Will we ever find a place to buy (please, SOON!)? Having a toddler ready to have his own room in a big-boy bed and just not knowing where to put him...or when. Having a big trip coming up in June (ie: driving to Alaska and back over the course of 3 weeks) that I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around amidst said big stuff.

My sweet husband keeps reminding me that the actual big stuff is already blessed. We are healthy. Our kids are healthy. Our relationship is strong. Our game plan is solid (game plan: take steps in faith and trust the Lord's guidance). We're good.

I just don't feel good. I feel uneasy. I struggle with letting fear cause anxiety where it has no place. I lose my focus and listen to the wrong voice. I turn away from the spirit of calm in my heart and turn my attention to the flesh of chaos.

My feelings don't determine truth. They lie to me.

God has made promises to me. He promises to make everything work for my good. He promises to not give me a spirit of fear (so if I have one - it's not from Him!). He promises that He is worthy of my trust. He promises that His word is truth.

This is where I need to sit. SIT. Not do. Rest. Not think. Not be anxious. Just trust. Trust in the God who created this whole world and yet cares about the details of my heart, my family, and my future. He cares about my cares.

:: Sigh. ::

He is so good. So so very good.

I am choosing to rest in Him in this moment. And the next...just one at a time.