christ centered craziness

This week is a busy one and there's no end in sight but I'm amazed at how much being centered in my identity makes me feel ready to tackle it all. 

I know who I am.

I do not find my identity in my circumstances. It's not found in how I feel about my body. Not in my accomplishments (or lack thereof). It's not found in how well behaved (or not) my children may or may not be acting. It's not in how clean (or dirty) my house is. Not in the car I drive. Not in how much money we make (or don't make). It's not in what we do (good or bad).

I am a daughter of the most high King. I have been made a new creation.

My identity is found in those things alone and nothing in or of this world can change that. Yes, circumstances certainly suck sometimes. Hard things still happen. Life presents tough situations but knowing who and what I am deep down is, in the end, what it's all about.

I'm living my life in dependance on God. I can trust Him. I can make decisions based on faith and not on fear because I know He's got my back. He never changes.

Like I said, this week is crazy. I very well may not get any sleep at all that might be a little exaggeration but I'm resting in Him - and I can - because I know that all this stuff going on around me doesn't change anything about who I am because He already has.



 

hump-day ho-hum

I just poured a cup of coffee that I've been waiting hours to enjoy, only to find out that I'm out of my favorite sweetener to put in it. While searching through my purse for a single-serving pack of sweetener (that I never located), I found a dirty diaper that I'd meant to throw away yesterday (or the day before - ahem). Gross. Anyway, then I thought I'd hit the jackpot by finding a candy bar at the bottom of my bag (that I could stir into my coffee!) but turns out it was just a stray tampon lost in the abyss.

These first world problems...man, I tell ya.

...

Saturday was such a gorgeous day! We picked apples and pressed cider at my Mom and Dad's (my sister and her boyfriend were there too) and afterwards watched a football game on TV and had a delicious dinner of pork roast, salad, potatoes and cooked carrots (pretty much my favorite meal of all time).

It was an amazing day.

Have I mentioned how much I love October? ;)

Oh, and also this happened. I will no longer complain about how much my husband paid for our camera.

october

God made October just for me. I know it.

For some reason it feels like I can see more clearly, think more clearly, in October. Everything is crisp, clear, a little brighter. The colors are vivid, the temperatures are in my opinion perfection, our runs are just a bit longer, our breath is out there - seen.

Today it rained. We ran. We got soaked and cold and hot all at the same time. After showers, we drank coffee and went to our fellowship group. My body was tired and my heart was full. My feet hurt but my soul was resting.

I notice the little stuff more in this season. I notice Fischer laying on the floor concentrating on something so little but so big to him. I note the excitement in Carter's face over making a mud hut for a history project. Natalie's grin at the anticipation of her first middle school dance which I don't want to talk about.... Jack's sweet words that can't quite get out fast enough when he's thrilled about meeting a goal. My husband's eagerness to take us in the mountains on drives where we have the both the best views of the valley and the best conversations.

Oh sweet Lord, thank you for loving me so much that you made me October.

it moves me

"The road to courage is lit by God's wisdom. His word in the Bible and through the Holy Spirit to you and through others is how you know."     --Annie Downs ("Let's All Be Brave)

 I just love this.

the half marathon (that happened over 2 months ago...)

I just realized (because I ran into someone today, that I hadn't seen since early high school, who reads my blog - HI SARAH!) that I never wrote anything about that half marathon I'd been training for for oh, NINE MONTHS.

I ran it! We ran the whole thing (as per my personal goal) without walking at all and I'm so proud of that!

A couple of things about the race.

1) It's a long flipping time to run! And the whole if-you-run-faster-you'll-get-done-sooner crap? Yeah, that doesn't work. It's more like if-you-keep-breathing-you-won't-die hopefully.

2) I have never, NEVER felt more proud of myself than I did seeing my family there at the finish line cheering me on and seeing their proud faces as I finished. It brought tears to my eyes! It was amazing. My husband's pride in his eyes? Yeah. Nothing like it.

3) Eat the goo stuff they're tossing to people along the way. I lost my energy at about mile 9. I ate a half of a really mushy nasty banana at the beginning of mile 7, but it didn't seem to last long and I should have had something to eat to give me a boost for the last few miles.

4) The signs spectators were holding are priceless. They were encouraging and hilarious and everything good that keeps your mind in the right place to stay strong and finish. My favorite sign was held by a woman sitting in a lawn chair on the sidewalk sipping coffee - it read, "THIS IS THE WORST PARADE EVER." Another one I loved was, "Hurry up! The beer at the end isn't going to drink itself!" And at about the last mile there was one that had a huge picture of Christopher Walken on it that read, "This ain't the time for Walken! Finish strong!"

5) Running with someone is imperative to making it to the finish line for me anyway. I would have had a much more difficult time running the whole thing if it weren't for Maria's encouragement. She's seriously like the energizer bunny and it was great having her there dragging me running with me the whole time.

When we were done I had two immediate thoughts. The first was, "I am NEVER doing that again!" followed quickly by, "I will do WAY better than that next time!"

So, there you have it. I DID IT!

Oh, our finish time was 2:09. This made it an average pace of 9:52 or something and our normal average pace is about 9:10 so I was really disappointed with the time, but again, still proud that we finished and really proud that we ran the whole thing!

Mari's girls and mine - they got up at 3:30am to get dressed up and ready to cheer us on along the way (with Maria's husband)! It was priceless!

All the kids (wait, except Jack) - watching for us to come around the corner to the finish line.

And then (like a flash of lightening!) there we were!

My amazing little supporters. These are my people.

WE DID IT!

humility at its finest

Running shoes = $90

TomTom running watch = $130

My10 year old son saying, "Um Mom... I don't think you should run in those pants anymore because I can see the pattern on your underwear right now." = Priceless

{Can't help but wonder how many people who passed me today and who knows how many days prior to this! know what pattern is on my underwear...}

ready to recieve them

It's October. My favorite.

Yesterday afternoon Maria and I decided not to run...but walk. We made a pot of coffee, packed Fischer in the jogger and we set out in the beautiful October sunshine and walked. Almost 6 miles of pure bliss. It was crisp out, the leaves were falling, and the air smelled like sunshine mixed with wood burning in a fireplace somewhere close. Since we were walking we were able to have great conversation and enjoy just being.

That is my favorite.

It's no secret that I love fall...

photocredit

I've also been enjoying other moments. Trying to appreciate them as I see em' and thanking the Lord for each one, accepting it as a gift from Him to me personally.

It is so easy to focus on the negativity (I struggle with this...like you didn't know that). I don't want that to be my heart (and it isn't) but it takes practice to change. A heart of gratitude is developed as you consciously choose to be thankful for the blessings you have. Big or little. They're all gifts.

Here are some of mine from lately:

A dahlia given to me from a friend.

Fischer bringing me this asking for cookies.

Bubble baths!

Eagerly wanting to help Daddy wash the car.

Cinnamon rolls to share with people we love.

Playing "tow-boyth!"

Colorful food.

My sister going to the lake with us!

This smile.

This girl. Everything about her. She's just amazing.

Feeling SAFE with friends over. :)

 So many little blessings when I slow down enough to see them.

May I continue to have my eyes open to see them and my heart ready to receive them.

Thank you, Lord.