Yeesh. Really, really.

My day started well. Scratch that, actually really great - Jeff brought me coffee in bed and the news said it would only get up to 75 degrees today - tops! This, however, was fairly short lived. Jeff left for work, my coffee got cold, the local news ran out and turned to some morning show that claims to be "news" but is more of a mix of reality t.v. and some version of semi-warranted-but-mostly-useless-information, and then all the kids woke up. It was bound to happen - but you know how it's always too soon...

The next couple of hours went fairly uneventfully - I guess the "events" felt the need to cram themselves all in a small terrifyingly unsalvagable (is that even a word?) half hour right before we had to be out of the house - which they did.

I was in the shower and Jack barges in - I will never get used to not having privacy even though it's been m.a.n.y. years since I've had even a resemblance of what privacy should be - with a bunch of broken glass cupped in his little chubby hands. I try my best not to freak out, although my very best, when it comes to situations like this, does not turn out very impressive at all. I turn off the water (hair still soapy and completely sopping wet), then rush to get the shards of glass out of my toddler's hands. I follow him into Natalie's room and find that he's broken her "snow" globe (that has no snow but tons of glitter in it) and there is glass - let me rephrase - slivers of glass, everywhere. The kind of slivers that you can feel when they are stuck in your foot but cannot see the exact location of until the skin on the bottom of your foot grows over the injury, gets infected and then has to be "surgically" removed (yes, personal experience talking - a post for another day - plus I would have to allow Jeff his take on the story as his take on it is painfully different from mine).

So there is glass everywhere, a glittery water substance everywhere, and just as I usher the kids away from the entertainment that is the huge mess on Natalie's floor, grab some towels, a plastic bag and the vacuum cleaner and get to work, I hear the dog start throwing up in another part of the house. REALLY?!? This is about the time my wet, soapy haired head begins to feel like it's going to explode. And we have to be out of the house in 13 minutes or less. **Que the dun-dun-dun-DUN sound effect.**

I finally take a second (literally - only a second - as I have no more time to allot to thinking in this situation) and remember what my husband always says to me - despite the fact that it physically hurts my brain when he says it not to mention the pain it causes to recall it on my own - the whole, "Keep your problems small" bit and his, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it" stuff. When all is going well, I couldn't agree more. This morning did not go well. This advice was not fun "food for thought," but it's what came to my head so I went with it. I put a smile on my face, thanked God for the blessing that no one was hurt and super thankful that where I had to be in 13 minutes wasn't to meet with the Pope, but was to be at swimming lessons - a little late wouldn't hurt (although I'm confident that given the chance to explain myself, the Pope would have been understanding).

In the end, we made it. Not on time (or even all that close - to be perfectly honest), but we made it and amazingly enough we all lived to tell about it. Even the dog.

One Liners (part 2)

So, I just thought I'd share a few more one-liners because if I don't I will forget them - and really - who wants to forget these grand examples of model parenting?


- Yes, you have to use toilet paper!


- Sprinklers are different from showers. Please go put some clothes on.

- You're right, that doesn't work as a parachute, now go get some band aids.

- You can't find your gum!? Well, where do you remember chewing it last?


- The choke-chain-collar is a tool used only for the dog. Please go take it off your brother.

- No, playing games on the computer does not count as "exercise for your eyes."


- You can put your mouth on the vacuum attachment, but just know that if you do it's like putting your mouth on everything you've ever seen on this floor.


- "Gots" will never be a word. Ever. (Apparently I gots to have more impromptu vocabulary lessons during the summer...)

AND I have a "bonus" story (just because it's so darn cute!) that my Mom told me happened this weekend when the kids were at their house:

Over the years my Dad has passed on his love for the Native American culture to my children. They are fascinated by the culture and love learning everything there is to know about it. Well, I guess my Mom french braided Natalie's hair before church on Sunday and Natalie loved it (I don't know how to do it, so it was new to her). My Mom told Natalie that Indians used to wear their hair like that and apparently the look on Natalie's face was priceless (and now I have to learn how to french braid!). She then told her that Zach (my brother - side note: we were all adopted as infants) is part Native American. Natalie literally lit up and exclaimed, "Does that mean Mina's Indian too!?!" (Mina is his dog.)

I was going to say that I will be sad the day they grow up and stop saying stuff like that - but then I remembered that I'm a "grown up" *insert short joke here* and I still say stuff like that all the time. Pretty sure we're good.

Happy Anniversary

Dear Jeff,

Remember that one time when we were 12 and you broke up with me because I was too scared to kiss you? Yes you do. Uh, YES... YOU DO. Well, anyway, that was a long time ago. 18 years ago, to be exact. Now, exactly half of those 18 years I have had the privilege of being your wife (although, I'm pretty sure you only asked me after I assured you I'd gotten over the kissing stuff).

When I married you I had no idea (really) what kind of husband you would be (or what kind of wife I would be for that matter). We were young (only a few months past our teens!). We were in the middle of college. We were living with 6 other people. We didn't know what to expect - at all. But I didn't care. I knew that I would rather have a million unknowns with you, than have any other life without you. I remember being in premarital counseling with our pastor and him chuckling as he said, "I know you guys think you love each other now - and I don't doubt that you do - but you just wait. As time goes on you'll really come to understand what loving each other looks like." I think we're there (although I also think it's safe to say we both hope not all the way). I agree that when we got married we loved each other (duh), but really it looked very little like the way we love each other now. We have grown. We have ebbed and flowed into a fun, trusting, loving, respectful, God-centered marriage - and I am so proud of us (and thankful to Him) for that.

I am beyond thankful to have a husband who seeks the Lord. Diligently. I am thankful that you treat me lovingly, even when we are in disagreement over something. You are kind. Not just "nice," but really kind - like to your core. I appreciate that in all of the time I have known you, you have never called me a harsh name, not even once (well - at least not loud enough that I heard it) .

I honestly love being married to you. I laugh hard and I laugh often. I love that you are the spiritual leader of our family and you lead well. You are an amazing Dad to our children and I love raising our kids with you.

Over the years we have learned to laugh when we could cry, pray when we could panic, praise because we are thankful and love all the time. Thank you, babe. Thank you for growing up with me and for the promise of growing old with me. I have never, even for a second, regretted my yes.

...faith like a child...

Natalie and Jack woke up before Carter did this morning. They ate breakfast and then started coloring a Bible story coloring book together. Their conversation made me feel like the proudest Mommy ever. This is what it was:

Jack: "I miss Jesus."

Natalie: "Yeah, He lived on earth a long time ago. God sent him so he could die on the cross. If he didn't do that we couldn't go to heaven because we do sins - that means we're naughty - but since he died for us, God doesn't stay mad at the bad things we do and now when we die we get to live in heaven with God! That was nice of him, huh!?"

Jack: "Yeah. I love Jesus."

Natalie: "Me too. A lot."

Oh my melt-my-heart goodness!

"Just One" for the Week...

Natalie and Carter have been gone all week so it's just been Jack and I and let me tell ya - one-on-one-time is WORK (good/fun yet time consuming work)! I've been "playing" cards, reading books, pushing swings, helping with trikes, pushing the stroller, playing rock-paper-scissors, building with blocks, shaping with play-doh, hunting for worms, playing hide and seek, playing "puppy," and sometimes if I'm lucky, playing Mommy-needs-a-nap (and if I'm really lucky - a drink!).

Let me back up a bit (a lot). By the time I even realized that I had my first kid I was already pregnant with my second. Not really, Natalie was 10 months when we found out about Carter, but seriously - we blinked and we were headed to family of four (maybe it wasn't the blinking that got us headed there, but you get what I'm sayin'). They have always had each other - and they are the best of buddies. I don't know what one would even do without the other. They do everything together. Two peas in a pod. It's w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l.

When Jack came to be (which took us by complete and total surprise - I guess we were blinking too much) he just slid right into their group. To this day he denies that he's any younger than Carter. He knows he's two - but doesn't accept the fact that he's not as big as his brother. Natalie has been his little "other-mother" and loves to be the one he wants when he's sad. Carter helps Jack do all the "boy" stuff and they are really the best big-siblings that any kid could ask for...

...but right now they're gone. And this has been the longest week for us! I've had to fill Natalie and Carter's roles and I don't know what I'm going to do when school starts and it's just Jack and I all the time. I'm going to have to like - budget my time, and actually - dare I say - parent! Don't get me wrong, I "parent" but Natalie and Carter do all the grunt work. They are the ones that play with Jack.

I suppose we'll figure it all out within the next couple of months (and what I mean by that is that come September, I'll really start freaking out) and in the mean time I'm going to enjoy this week with Jack and spend as much time as I can just feeling lucky to hang with this awesome little guy of mine - and when Natalie and Carter come back I'm going to hug them like crazy and make them promise to never leave me again! Or something like that.

One Liners

Here are a few examples of my mad parenting skills via brain-candy-one-liners for your Monday morning reading pleasure. Don't judge.

"Seriously - you did not just eat that! That came out of the dog's mouth!"

"Do you see what parts of your body are completely under? Yeah, that's why we don't drink bath water."

"What exactly did you think would happen if you licked the floor when it had dog hair on it?"

"Nail polish is never an acceptable substitute for lip stuff. Ever."

"The grout between the tiles is not a maze for your markers."

"I know it smells funny, but standing in front of the muffler when the car is running is not a good idea."

"Just because you have the ability to fit that into your nose doesn't mean you should."

"Because there's no nutritional value in Play-Doh - that's why."

"Please don't use your brother as a jump for your bike. He said yes because he doesn't know what it means."

"The dog's water dish is not an acceptable place to wash your hands."

"This, THIS!, is why we can't own nice things!"