"Not Me" Monday

I did not tell my three year old that it's "against the law" to put milk in a water bottle simply because it completely grosses me out, because that would be mean.

I also didn't stay home on Black Friday and not spend a dime in attempt to rebel against the freakish amount of consumerism that goes on that day... and I  did not end up completely throwing that whole notion out the window the very next day by going out and hitting some of the not so great left-over sales...

After my "rebellion," I was not at all disappointed that I didn't get a Kitchen Aid mixer for $99 on Black Friday, because that would  be silly - especially since it would feel completely out of place in my "beginner's" kitchen.

I'm also not admitting that even though I want the Beavs to put up a good fight, I secretly do hope the Ducks win the civil war game this weekend (in college football - in case you're not a complete football freak like I am and don't know what I'm talking about) because I do think (even though it literally hurts to write this!) it would be good to see the Ducks go to the national championship game (no, it would be good to have the Beaver's beat them right when they THINK they have a chance. No, Ducks should win. No. - Oh, this is so hard!).

I totally can't believe I wrote that last one. Please disregard it. Wait, I didn't say it. Because I wouldn't! Not me!

And last, but not least, I am definitely not going to watch the DVD's I bought (to watch while I run on the treadmill) while I sit on the couch and do laundry today. Nope, I wouldn't do that.

Waiting

I heard once that if your dreams are achievable without God's help then they aren't big enough. My dreams are not achievable without God. Not even close. So I have to wait on Him to move - and He's showing me that I'm not super great at being patient and waiting for His timing. When I pray and wait with no apparent, obvious or immediate answer I start to question myself. And Him. And I start to let fear and doubt creep into my heart instead of resting in Him and trusting that He did indeed bring us (Jeff and I - we're sort of pair, you know, "we are one" and all) to this place in our hearts and that He will see us through when it's the right time.

Man, that's a hard word, though. When. It leaves so much unknown. But it's not really unknown, it's just unknown to me. I need to be okay with that. I'm learning to be. But if there's one thing I've found out about myself lately it's that I'm not patient. Not that I haven't known that - not that I'm not reminded of that when I get my whine on every time I feel like nothing is going my way, but it's one area where I feel like God is really working on my heart (you know, in addition to the negativity - good thing He's God - it's a huge undertaking).

I do trust Him. I will wait on His direction. I will allow Him to soften my heart as I wait, even though it's painful, because even when it's painful for me HE is still worthy to be loved, worthy to be worshipped, worthy to be trusted and worthy to be waited on.

"Not Me" Monday

When Jeff was cleaning out the garage this weekend it wasn't me who took a peek out there, mentally taking stock of all of his stuff and wondering how much it would sell for on Ebay (and obviously not wondering that about any of my stuff...). Not me!

I didn't hide any of the presents that Jackson got for his birthday while he was sleeping last night because they drove me crazy (making noises and lighting up). I wouldn't do that... And it definitely wasn't one of the presents that I bought him  - because buying that kind would be a total rookie mistake.

When my sweet husband was making the bed this morning (I know, right!? He's pretty amazing.) I wasn't secretly upset about it because I absolutely wasn't planning on getting back in it after the kids were on the bus and he was off to work.

I promise that when I saw the gift cards to Toys R Us that Natalie and Jack got for their birthdays just sitting on the counter this morning, the thought of using them to buy their Christmas gifts never even crossed my mind.

Jack most definitely did not have a cupcake today before he even got dressed and I am certainly not eating one right now (7:49 am)... Nope, not me!

It was an early morning this morning. Jack turns three today and Natalie turns eight tomorrow so they excitedly woke up before usual. I didn't mind, really. It was fun hearing them sing "Happy Birthday" to each other in Natalie's room and anyway - I was (am) determined to have a good attitude today (see post below) and simply count my blessings and press on with my heart full of thankfulness no matter how early I had to get up...

After getting out of bed, I started on my "list." I knew that Jeff was tired (he had an extra busy, stressful, emotional week) so I thought I'd try to keep the kids quiet quieter than usual and just let him sleep in a while. I jumped right into the things I had to get done. I fed the kids and the dog. I made coffee and did the dishes. I helped the kids pick out clothes for today (because I'm anal and controlling we're leaving the house) and then helped them make their beds (because I'm anal and controlling we're having people over later today). I finished decorating the living room and dining room for the kids' birthday party tomorrow and started another load of laundry. While I am doing all of this my husband is sweetly getting some much needed rest. Or so I thought...

As I'm trying to have a good attitude and be a servant to others so that I can be more appreciative of all the blessings in my life - I get interrupted by a vibrating cell phone text message - from my husband. He is in our bedroom. He wants coffee. (Insert negative sarcastic comment about pressing my buttons and his luck in one fell swoop here.)

Thank you Lord, for another opportunity to be a servant this morning. I am thankful that I have such a hard working, and sweet husband who can take a loving kidney punch like no other. Amen.

Speaking the truth in love...

I've heard that phrase a lot. I've never thought of speaking to myself that way, though - I've only considered it in some sort of confrontational situation (which I avoid like the plague naturally anyway), but it caught my attention as I've been working on claiming God's truth for myself lately and not accepting the lies the enemy would love for me to agree with him on.

For instance, I feel like I'm kind of a negative person - often I'm only able to see the cup as half empty and I hate that about myself. I also hate that I've allowed the lie to creep in that me being that way is "just the way I am" and then not do anything to change the attitude I have about it. Also? I can be sarcastic (something I don't want to change necessarily, but I do want to refine it) but I have allowed the lie to sit on my heart that to be funny and essentially heard I have to be completely negative. It's a lie though - and I won't have it anymore.

::Not saying here that I will never be negative again - hello, I'm HUMAN - but I am working on claiming what God promises me and what He has for me (which happens to be much more than a negative outlook on my life!).::

Here are some of the truth's I'm claiming for ME to change my attitude, perspective and ultimately - my life! (borrowed from Joyce Meyer's book "Me and My Big Mouth!") and where in the Bible the subject is discussed/referenced:

"I have been set free. I am free to love, to worship, to trust with no fear of rejection or of being hurt." (John 8:36; Romans 8:1)

"I humble myself and God exalts me." (1 Peter 5:6)

"I have a teachable spirit." (2 Timothy 2:24)

"The law of kindness is in my tongue. Gentleness is in my touch. Mercy and compassion are in my hearing." (Proverbs 31:26)

"I am always a positive encourager. I edify and build up; I never tear down or destroy." (Romans 15:2)

"As a man thinks in his heart, so he is. Therefore, all of my thoughts are positive. I do not allow the devil to use my spirit as a garbage dump by meditating on negative things that he offers me." (Prov. 23:7)

As I say these things (aloud) they begin to seep into my pores and I can feel God changing my attitude. Thank you Lord, for the promises you have made (all of us!) and for helping me to be open to becoming the woman you created me to be.

Wordless Wednesday

"NOT ME" Monday

I totally didn't buy ugly Christmas sweaters for the whole family to wear in our photos (in quasi-rebellion to the "family picture" we are required to send to all of our extended family for Christmas). Nope... not me!

I also didn't tell my son to "just go" in his pull up at the grocery store today because I just didn't want to walk (all the way) to the back of the store to the "family restroom."

Pretty sure it wasn't me who started the washing machine (again) this morning with a load from the day before yesterday (the third time this load has been washed)...

And I'm most certain that when my husband asked me this morning if we had a towel for his shower I didn't hand him a kitchen hand-towel because it was all we had clean.

I didn't laugh out loud when my youngest son said "poop" in his sleep the other night, because that would be immature.

I also didn't wash my car in the rain on Saturday, or finally be brave enough to try to set up my computer printer by myself after it being in the box for 13 months.

You know - just so we're clear.

Lets go to the library!

I'm positive I'm the only one who has lived in a town for over a year before finally checking out the public library. Then, after randomly finding the time to spend a couple of hours there, I find myself leaving with six MOVIES (and no books)...

Oh, well.

[They had dress up stuff there! Hope no one has head lice because the Police Hat was a m.u.s.t. for this little guy.]

"Dith book ith HUGE Mommy!"

An angel, a queen, a fireman, and a monster-mouth... I mean, cowboy...

Last night was hilarious. We were laughing the whole night. Mostly after the appropriate allotted time following a time out (of having to "sit out" on a couple of houses) that our son had to go through. He was ON FIRE last night with his mouth - and we were... humbled by his behavior.

First house we went to (which happened to be our neighbors who we really like) Carter (along with his sister, brother, and cousin) gets his candy and before they had even shut the door we hear Carter yelling to us (on the sidewalk), "Hey! That guy lost his tooth! Can you believe it!? AN ADULT!!!" He is missing one of his front teeth. So very nice of Carter to point it out to anyone who might not have seen if for themselves.

We sulk away on our walk of shame to the next house as we are trying desperately to coach Carter (as usual) on not just saying the first thing that comes to his mind. Which, I might add is so very hard to do when both his Mom and his Dad are people who are generally putting their own feet in their mouths more often than not. This is also why our sister thought this whole episode was the funniest thing ever. Seeing her "little" brother get a taste of his own medicine. Let me tell ya, it doesn't taste too good.

Later we approached a house with a "support our schools!" sign in their yard. As the kids were walking up to the door, us adults were jokingly wondering (out loud) if kids would get more candy if they said their parents voted to support the schools.

Next house - Carter rings the door bell and, "Trick-Or-Treat! We vote to support local schools!!!" Apparently he heard us.

After a pep-talk about only saying "trick-or-treat" and "thank you!" Carter was thrown off by receiving a popsicle (really) instead of candy and shouts to us as he's walking away from the house, "What!?! This thing'll melt before we even get home!"

And then later as we were leaving a house that got bombarded with a bunch of kids all at once he says, "Wow! Bet we cleaned that guy out of candy!"

It will take a long year of recovery to be convinced that the whole trick-or-treating gig is a good enough idea to do again...