Waiting

I heard once that if your dreams are achievable without God's help then they aren't big enough. My dreams are not achievable without God. Not even close. So I have to wait on Him to move - and He's showing me that I'm not super great at being patient and waiting for His timing. When I pray and wait with no apparent, obvious or immediate answer I start to question myself. And Him. And I start to let fear and doubt creep into my heart instead of resting in Him and trusting that He did indeed bring us (Jeff and I - we're sort of pair, you know, "we are one" and all) to this place in our hearts and that He will see us through when it's the right time.

Man, that's a hard word, though. When. It leaves so much unknown. But it's not really unknown, it's just unknown to me. I need to be okay with that. I'm learning to be. But if there's one thing I've found out about myself lately it's that I'm not patient. Not that I haven't known that - not that I'm not reminded of that when I get my whine on every time I feel like nothing is going my way, but it's one area where I feel like God is really working on my heart (you know, in addition to the negativity - good thing He's God - it's a huge undertaking).

I do trust Him. I will wait on His direction. I will allow Him to soften my heart as I wait, even though it's painful, because even when it's painful for me HE is still worthy to be loved, worthy to be worshipped, worthy to be trusted and worthy to be waited on.