I haven't felt much like blogging lately because honestly, it's been a really hard week. I'm not trying to complain - and I'm not talking about illness, or weight loss or other things like that that seemingly don't matter when it comes right down to it - I'm talking about having a hard time because of losing someone you love.
A good friend of ours (who led the small Bible Study group Jeff and I and a few other couples were doing together) passed away on Sunday leaving behind his wife (also a good friend) and three young kids. My heart has been aching like mad this whole week and I just can't seem to function enough to blog my feelings (I don't even know if it's "appropriate" to blog my feelings about this, but they're just sort of coming out of me, so "appropriateness" is being thrown out the window).
I don't know why he had to die (he was only 34 years old and he had just been re-diagnosed with leukemia last month). I don't know why someone who was so on fire for the Lord had to pass away when he was doing so much good for so many people (and most importantly - for God!) but he did. I know (because it says so in Romans 8:28) that God will use everything that happens here on earth for His glory according to His purpose - and nothing in that verse says that we have to understand it - we just have to trust that there are reasons beyond our comprehension and that God will do what He says He will do, which I absolutely believe... even though it is so unbelievably hard in this minute!
So, that's where I am at. Thinking about (and constantly praying for) my dear friend who is going through the pain of not only losing her husband/best friend, but explaining it all to her three adorable sweet children.
Right now, I'm just going to continue to pray. I'm holding my kids close and my husband even closer. I'm still wondering, still unbelievably sad, and yet I am still trusting in His plan, knowing that ultimately - that's all that matters.