life randomness (as expected these days from me, amIright?)

You want to know what totally drives me crazy? Kids playing (away from me) and then telling each other they're going to "tell Mom" on the other one, then the tattle-taler running up to me and just saying, "I love you, Mom" all the while the other kid is promising them everything from their favorite pair of socks to their birth right to just. not. tell. Mom. when in reality the kid who is doing the "telling" never even planned on doing it in the first place. They just wanted to scare the other kid through some well thought out manipulation.

Drives me insane.

But anyway, how's your Spring Break going?

We had four days of glorious sunshine in a row. We got to mow the lawn (and the garden and the front field), do some gardening, wash the car, play outside, get mild sunburns and then the rains came. Now we've got bad attitudes and strep throat.

I know.

Luckily we're only one kid deep into the strep this round and hopefully it will stop there.

I'm going on a women's weekend away on Friday (through Sunday!) at the coast and I will not get sick before I get back from that. I WILL NOT. It is imperative for the well being of my whole family that I go. That I just...GO.

Despite my inability to remain sane lately, Jeff's zen-like attitude about the uncertainties of life continues to amaze me (I could learn a thing or two from my crazy-awesome husband - maybe someday I will). He never complains or whines or outwardly stresses out (lately I'm so frazzled that I flip a lid at someone leaving the toilet seat up pun intended? - needless to say, he's the calm one in the relationship).

He's solid as a rock while the question marks of life are just floating around us like balloons that we intend to pop one at a time (slowly but surely). I need that though, his solidness. His steady. His confidence. I don't have that. I mean, I do; I have peace in my heart and I know who I am, but I still get nervous and need a hand to hold when I know things are a-changin' (like knowing the inspector is at our house we're trying to sell and he's, well, inspecting it).

Taking life one day moment at a time has always been hard for me because I'm a have-it-written-out-and-planned-and-then-just-do-it sort of person and we're not in a place in our lives where we can live like that, so I'm learning. I'm stretching and trusting and whatdoyouknow, I'm still alive. And so are my kids (if, that is, they stop the fake tattling escapades).

Spring break is half over. It's raining outside. There are an insane amount of question marks on the road ahead of us, but we're together. We're balancing each other out. We're pressing on.

We're making it.

just sayin'

Getting woken up by a kiss from one of my kids is unbelievably sweet...unless it's the kid who (currently) has strep throat and he's waking me up to tell me he has to throw up.

mama needs a breather

We're getting out of Dodge for the weekend. Jeff's taking tomorrow off of work and we're going to have some fun! We're headed to a resort in Central Oregon for three care-free fun filled days with Jeff's side of the family! His parents rented a couple of houses there and a handful of us kids are going to meet up with them there. We'll play cards, the kids will swim in the indoor pool, we'll play basketball, cook yummy food, stay up late laughing our heads off - exactly what this girl needs right now.

I

can't

wait!


{Aaaaahhhhhh.}

resting

Life is stressful around these parts these days. {And by "these parts" I mean my brain.}

Wondering about big stuff like if (when!) our house will sell. Will we ever find a place to buy (please, SOON!)? Having a toddler ready to have his own room in a big-boy bed and just not knowing where to put him...or when. Having a big trip coming up in June (ie: driving to Alaska and back over the course of 3 weeks) that I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around amidst said big stuff.

My sweet husband keeps reminding me that the actual big stuff is already blessed. We are healthy. Our kids are healthy. Our relationship is strong. Our game plan is solid (game plan: take steps in faith and trust the Lord's guidance). We're good.

I just don't feel good. I feel uneasy. I struggle with letting fear cause anxiety where it has no place. I lose my focus and listen to the wrong voice. I turn away from the spirit of calm in my heart and turn my attention to the flesh of chaos.

My feelings don't determine truth. They lie to me.

God has made promises to me. He promises to make everything work for my good. He promises to not give me a spirit of fear (so if I have one - it's not from Him!). He promises that He is worthy of my trust. He promises that His word is truth.

This is where I need to sit. SIT. Not do. Rest. Not think. Not be anxious. Just trust. Trust in the God who created this whole world and yet cares about the details of my heart, my family, and my future. He cares about my cares.

:: Sigh. ::

He is so good. So so very good.

I am choosing to rest in Him in this moment. And the next...just one at a time.

TRUTH

"I get the invitation every morning when I wake up to actually live a life of complete engagement, a life of whimsy, a life where love does. It doesn't come in an envelope. It's ushered in by a sunrise, the sound of a bird, or the smell of coffee drifting lazily from the kitchen. It's the invitation to actually live, to fully participate in this amazing life for one more day. Nobody turns down an invitation to the White House, but I've seen plenty of people turn down an invitation to fully live.
 
Turning down this invitation comes in lots of flavors. It looks like numbing yourself or distracting yourself or seeing something really beautiful as just normal. It can also look like refusing to forgive or not being grateful or getting wrapped around the axle with fear or envy. I think every day God sends us an invitation to live and sometimes we forget to show up or get head-faked into thinking we haven't really been invited. But you see, we have been invited - every day, all over again."
 
Bob Goff

...

Remember that one time that I wrote posts consistently and didn't just think, "That would make a fun blog post!" in the middle of life but never wrote about it? Right, about that...

Life in the sticks has been lived at break neck speeds when it's fun and slow as slugs on the hard days. I'm sure everyone can relate.

Today is President's Day. I'm thinking I should maybe google what "President's Day" actually is because at this point all it means is an extra day off school for the kids. Either way, they've certainly been making the most of it:

Floating around in kiddie pools in the flooded front yard? Yes, please.

 I thought for about 3 seconds that I might do all my grocery shopping and town errands today but then looked outside at the pouring rain and decided the kids would have much more fun just getting to play inside (and out!) on their day off. {Poor Fischer still has to do Costco tomorrow with Mama.}

Natalie and Carter are still playing basketball each Saturday. Their teams are amazing (as in they have won by a landslide almost every.single.game) and they're really fun to watch.

I've only gone for one run in the past 2 weeks this is NOT good because of the weather and I'm simultaneously dreading and looking forward to a run with Maria this week. Workout DVDs have still happened, but sometimes there's just nothing like a nice 8 mile run or a heart attack as might be the case for me this week. ;)

Jeff leaves on Wednesday for PA lucky Pennsylvania gets my husband for a week...jerks. Natalie told him last night that him being gone for three days was her max and she doesn't want him gone longer than that. This melted my heart and made Jeff so sad. Poor guy.

Fischer is, as per usual, being irresistibly adorable and picking up on things crazy fast (except potty training - womp womp). He loves sitting on the potty but I'm starting to think it's only because it gives him easy access to his man parts. He has peed in the potty twice, which is awesome, but he's peed on the floor over twice that many times so you know, there's also that.

I was just going to say that I hope everyone has a great weekend but then remembered that it's Monday today.

Seriously?

Blerg.

Anyway, have a great week...

...

Ironically, as I'm trying to open my "Chamomile Calming Tea" this morning I get frustrated and end up calling the tea bag some choice words.

I might need something stronger than tea today.

Like alcohol.

{Ahem.}