TRUTH

"Fear only gets loud when you do things that matter. 

It’s true. If you accept average, if you settle for ordinary, if you deem yourself common, fear will leave you alone.

If you decide to rock vanilla right into the grave, fear will give you a free pass.

But the minute you stand up and start doing something with your life, fear will awaken.

Fear stirs, fear gets loud."

Jon Acuff 

 

Weekend Update (but not with Seth Meyers - unfortunately)

Even though it's Tuesday already (how did that happen?!) I feel like it should be noted that I had the best weekend because I haven't said that in a while I guess.

The kids didn't feel well.

We stayed around home for the most part.

We didn't get to sleep in as long as we thought we would.

It was over much too quickly.

But man, it was the best.

Friday the kids had conferences at their school. I was sure Jeff wouldn't be able to make it (although he hadn't missed any yet) because he had been swamped at work that week and really wanted to catch up before the weekend, but just as I was getting ready to pile the kids in the Yukon and head to the school, he pulled up, started helping to load kids and smiled knowing he totally not only made my day, but made the kids' day, too. (Not to mention the fact that he handed me a hot Americano-with-cream to sip on during conferences - he loves me, this I know for sure.) Even better was that on the way to the school when I asked what time he said he'd be back to work, he revealed that he was done for the weekend. Checked out. He was HOME. I exhaled and smiled...for the rest of the day.

Saturday was low key. Jeff got up early and made coffee. After my first second cup was consumed, I made my way out of bed and into to the kitchen to make our favorite breakfast: German pancakes. A rare but oh-so-loved treat for all of us.

The kids like to put powdered sugar and a little lemon juice on theirs (like I said - a RARE treat). :)

Mid morning Jeff took Fischer from my arms and tossed me my running shoes. I got to run (my fastest!) 5K without a care in the world because I knew he had everything under control and wanted me to just enjoy myself for a bit. Which I absolutely did even though at the same time I felt like I was going to die.

While I was running, (I found out later) he was deep cleaning our bedroom. Yes, you read that right. I married prince charming, Ikidyounot. {The guy even used the vacuum attachments - that's how awesome he is.}

That afternoon we headed up to the gym with the kids where we played basketball and just shot around with them. It was no big deal and it was a huge deal all at the same time. It was us just being us and enjoying each others company running around like crazies. I was also flooded with memories of watching Jeff practice basketball in high school and remembering how my heart just fluttered out of my chest back then. However, Saturday was even better - it being 13 years later and hanging out in that same gym watching that same amazing guy teaching our kids the fundamentals of that same game and feeling my heart just want to flutter right out of my chest again. Ohmyheart!

Can I just say that I love how my daughter is wearing basketball shorts, leggings, knee high socks and tennis shoes? Because I totally do. She's got a style all her own and she boy does she own it! :)

...and then there's Jack - all layered up. Since I had mentioned to him that he might get hot wearing that and he chose to wear it anyway, he did not make one peep about the sweat dripping off of his body as we were loading up in the car when we were ready to head home (blesshisheart).

Our spectator section was the bomb.

While Jeff and I were doing the dishes that night I asked him if he knew where the kids went. We took a break to check out what they were doing...and they were all asleep in their beds! {They have now done that 4 nights in a row. We start on the dishes and they go upstairs, brush their teeth and quietly get in their bed. To say they've been worn out would be a complete understatement.} Oh - except Jack. He'd already fallen asleep at the table during dinner.

Sunday we had a low-key morning because everyone woke up feeling pretty lousy. That afternoon we went down to Jeff's parent's house and had pizza and played cards and laughed. It was wonderful and not just because of how very much I love pizza.

Simple. Lots of down time. Recovery time. Connection. Togetherness. I just love my little BIG! family.

feeling grounded

With all the illness that's been plaguing our household these past few months, I've been feeling run down - and I haven't even been sick. I've been overwhelmed just trying to keep my head above water with my duties (yes, I just said duties) and I'm barely surviving all the stuff I've got on my plate - let alone thriving at any of it.

I stepped down from one of my Bible studies yesterday. It wasn't an easy decision to be made, but I don't like feeling like I've got so many things on my list to do that my walk with the Lord becomes a check-mark instead of a friendship. I've been slacking on my Bible reading and on both of my actual studies because looking at all of it in one big pile (or to-do list) is just so overwhelming that I found myself not doing any of it until the night before and then not getting a thing out of it - which obviously defeats the whole purpose of doing any of it in the first place.

As of today, my car hasn't left the house since Sunday for church (besides the mile drive to the school and back twice a day) and this week I've actually felt grounded. I've maintained a schedule with the little boys by doing home schooling each day with Jack, both of them napping in the afternoons, Jeff and I carved out some time to get our budget on track after a huge headache and some tears - both on my part, I've enjoyed my time in the word this week, I've spent time with my Savior - I haven't been just spouting out prayers in desperation (I've actually taken the time to listen to His leading crazy concept, eh?) and I've been able to exercise and enjoy it.

I'm not saying this is going to be perfect forever it's far from perfect now. I'm not saying stepping down from some things is a solution for everyone, I'm just saying I've that after a bunch of thought I was feeling convicted of my time management and things needed to change. Things did change (this week anyway) and I feel blessed by it.

Wordless Wednesday

{Am I the only one that thinks this is funny?}

Just Like His Mama

Fischer found a bag of Satsumas on my bed where they were patiently waiting for nap time when I would enjoy a couple of them while watching an episode of TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress" because I'm a freak like that...don't judge me. He thought he had hit the jackpot when he lifted the bag and they all fell out onto his lap!

These pictures shouldn't make me as happy as they do especially since it's mostly because of the fruit. I'm actually really sad that it's January because that means Satsumas are going to be out-of-season soon (someone hold me).

At least I'll still have the cute baby...

Update on Fischer

Monday's doctor appointment was short lived because the doctor sent us immediately to get admitted into the pediatrics department of the hospital.

Fischer was breathing over 80 breaths per minute (they said they consider anything over 40 as "rapid breathing") and he was wheezing so bad that when the doctors would listen to his chest they couldn't even hear his heart beating over the wheeze. The boy was working hard at the whole breathing thing.

The doctor at the hospital asked what medications he was on (Prednisone and an Albuterol inhaler) and he said to stop both of those immediately and he drew up testing for Pertussis, RSV, and a number of other things. He said that the steroids wouldn't help at all if he had RSV (which is what he suspected) and there was a possibility that they could be making it more difficult for him to heal because it put his body under even more stress - so stopping those was definitely welcomed by both Jeff and I.

The test for RSV came back positive, which meant that stopping the steroids was a good call (finally - someone made a good call!) and we could see Fischer's struggles start to lesson right away. His breaths were still labored and he was definitely still wheezing (it's been 5 days since then and he's still wheezing) but he was just more...himself...and quickly seemed less, I don't know, sick.

We ended up staying overnight at the hospital because they wouldn't let him go home without observing him for at least that long and making sure that his gains continued and that he didn't take another turn for the worse (he didn't). We were so grateful that Fischer got a good night's sleep that night. Jeff and I crammed ourselves together on the hard bench seat (fully clothed from the day - we weren't planning on an all-night event happening that day) and tried to call it a night, too, but sleep didn't come easily for us that night because we were so worried about our little guy. Thankfully he just kept improving and we got to go home mid-morning on Tuesday.

It's been quite the week with our littlest man, but we're so thankful that he seems to be improving more and more each day and hopefully we've seen the worst of it.

Thanks for all your prayers!

doctor's office

I'm pretty sure our doctor depends on having Fischer as a patient in order to make the rent for their office space each month. We've been in there twice this week (Wednesday and Friday) and they want to see him on Monday, too.

Wednesday I took him in (while Jeff was on a plane headed back home - so happy to have him back!!!) because his bad cough was back (again) and he was wheezing a lot making it pretty difficult to breathe without laboring each breath. They did a chest x-ray because they were pretty sure he had Pneumonia (again), but thankfully his lungs were relatively clear (but they're sure he's got RSV - I decided not to get the test done to determine for sure if he has it because it's very uncomfortable to have done and they would treat him medically the same either way). So, his doctor prescribed a steroid to help open his airways so that he could actually breath without having to work so dang hard at it, but the next morning when we gave it to him he just projectile vomited it all over the rug which was fun.

So, I called in to let his doctor know how it was going (and that he wasn't keeping the steroids down) and they wanted to see him again right away - so we went back in yesterday afternoon. They decided to give the steroids another try (and gave him a shot of them right then and there because his breathing was so bad) and offered a different way to get it in his system (they gave me pills to crush and put in yogurt for him instead of the liquid we'd tried before).

We're two days in on the steroids and he's not really doing any better. Honestly, I'm  not sure what to now (Jeanna - advice??). He's not getting worse, but he doesn't seem to be getting better (and I do not want to keep giving him steroids if they're not going to work), so I guess we'll just have to wait a bit longer and see. He's not sleeping well, a bit feverish, and just all around miserable (not his usual happy self at all).

I'll keep you posted.

This was taken *before* this whole ordeal. These smiles are few and far between these days. Poor guy!