Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Where I'm At.

Tough start to the week yesterday.

By the time I kicked the kids out of the car dropped the kids off at school at 8:02 am (late as usual) I was already spent. I was not feeling very optimistic about the week ahead because my list was long, my patience short, and glancing at the logistics there simply wouldn't be enough time in each day to get everything done.

At 10am I got a phone call from my husband (who knew I had to run into town) asking if I would meet him for lunch. I had to scramble at home to get my other stuff done (to allow enough time for the stop for lunch) but it was so worth it to take the time. He knew it was exactly what I needed to regroup, calm the heck down, and just sit and discuss and de-stress a little. Man I love that guy. He is definitely my lobster (and honestly, if you don't know what that's from I'm not sure we can be FRIENDS).

So anyway, I cancelled a dentist appointment for today (they wanted to pop out 2 fillings I got when I was a kid and re-fill them because they look loose, but, um...nothankyou) because I just needed a day at home catching up. We've got a sick calf who's taking a lot of my emotional energy (and time), we're low on water (we have a spring, but it gets low every fall) so I'm spending tomorrow doing a buhZILLION loads of laundry at the in-law's house - don't know what we'd do without our parents - seriously. Soccer game tonight and Thursday night and then Friday I leave for Portland to attend Women of Faith over the weekend. I just feel like I'm constantly behind and/or playing catch up.

I find myself super frustrated (most of the time) but I'm also trying to just appreciate these days because I'm constantly being reminded that I will miss them someday and I don't want to look back with regret that all I did was rush through them on my way to the next activity. My desire is to be intentional with the kids you know, when I'm not yelling at them. I'm taking time to sit with them while they do their homework instead of hollering instructions from the next room while I'm stirring spaghetti sauce and mixing up calf-bottles and write notes to put in their lunches reminding them of how awesome I think they are. I want to smile when they walk in the room (it's embarrassing that I even have to think to do that!) and compliment them on what they have done instead of criticize what they could do better. They are my heart and they need to know it. All the time, not just when I'm feeling "caught up," ya know?

So anyway, that's where I'm at.


  1. I was totally feeling this last night. After my first full day back at work, I didn't want to put Reese down for bed, I just wanted to hold her. Then Ry got sad that she didn't get to sit wit me before she went to bed. When I finally did put Reese down in her crib, I really needed to get started on washing bottles/pump parts/get ready for the next day/catch up on other stuff that hasn't been done since Andy is sick but something was nudging me to go snuggle with Ry before she fell asleep. I ended up being up later than I wanted, but my heart SO needed that time with Ry. It's so easy to get caught up in the list of to-dos. I agree that it's embarrassing that I have to REMIND myself to have those moments with my kids. But, we're all human. :) I'm sure your kiddos know how much you adore them

    1. Knowing I'm not the only one makes me feel relieved and sad at the same time (misery loves company - but at the same time I wouldn't wish this misery on anyone!). Thanks for the encouragement, Katherine. I'm glad you got some time with your girls, too!

  2. I'm in the same boat with you, lady. Lunch with the hubby does help, though. I hope things slow down for you. :)