Sunday, April 18, 2010

The "F-Word"

Side Note: I know, who starts a post with a side note, right? I do. Okay, so the side note is this: My husband (Jeff') has a sister named Jeremi. Yes, a girl named Jeremi. And I have a brother named Jeremy. So our kids are probably 3 of very few kids that have both an Uncle Jeremy and an Aunt Jeremi. Just wanted to clear that up as to avoid any confusion during my actual post... which goes as follows...

Last night we had Jeremi, her husband Shane, and their three girls over for dinner. We ate, played freeze tag in the back yard, drank a couple of pots of coffee... you know, the usual stuff. Anyway, after dinner we got to telling stories and laughing until we cried. Everytime we get together we hear ourselves saying, "Man, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time!" but that doesn't really have anything to do with the story. It's just funny that we say it literally every time we get together. So, the kids were playing in the boys bedroom and us adults were in the living room sharing parenting stories.

Mine was this... The other day while Jeff and I were in the car with the kids we could hear them whispering them in the back seat. I asked them what they were saying and Natalie (who is completely incapable of lying and has a higher guilt-factor than even I do) says, "Uh.... Carter said... the F-word." Jeff gives me "the look" which means "just let it go" but since I am incapable of letting things go, I say a quick prayer before diving into this conversation and quietly whisper, "What did you say?" She quickly responds (loudly), "Carter said THE F-WORD!" I (as calmly as I can) reply, "Uh, what's the F-word?" I could see Natalie and Carter exchange glances in the review mirror as they are clearly contemplating the possible repercussions of answering honestly. I wait. They think. I wait some more. Finally Natalie says, "Can I just spell it for you because it's a really bad word and I don't want to get in trouble if you hear me say it out loud. Mom, you're really not going to like this word..." I remain quiet and she continues. "Okay, here I go... Um. F... A... R... T... But I didn't really say it outloud so it doesn't count, and I won't even spell it anymore, I promise!" Even though "fart" has never been my favorite word, right there in that moment I have to admit, it was.


  1. Phew! Of course, in a moment like that you have to pretend that you are indeed angry and not at all relieved because if the kids see the relief, they'll wonder: "If f-a-r-t isn't the REAL "F" word then what is???" and that's not a road you want to go down!!

    P.S. I've known Jeremi for so long, I forget that it's unusual!! And, I can't imagine being with her and NOT laughing! ( :

  2. LOL! Your kids are going to think mine are naughty if that's the "f" word. That is SO funny!

  3. LOVE IT! Your family has the greatest stories. I'm sure I'll have some doozies once Ry actually starts talking. For now, I'll laugh out loud (by myself) at yours!

  4. (My) Jeff and I are busting a gut reading this while tinkering in the garage (well, he's tinkering while I'm facebooking). He says that you should write professionally - maybe that's how you can afford to send the kids to boarding school when they REALLY push you over the edge?