It all started the other day (okay, like 2 weeks ago) when I casually asked Jeff if he was sad. He looked at me and asked, "Why would I be sad?" I say, "I'm just wondering if you're sad that I'm so much funnier than you are. You used to hold the trophy, but it's been taken. And now it's on my shelf. I'm just wondering if you're sad about it. I would be." He no longer looked sad. He raises his eyebrows as if to say, "Oh, we're going there are we?" What he actually said was, "Listen here, grasshopper. I taught you everything you know. It is impossible for you to pass me up. You got that?" I didn't. And I still don't. It came up again last night. Let's just say I was having an "off" night and my sweet wonderful I-like-to-rub-your-face-in-your-non-funny-jokes husband let me know. Again and again. He sort of hit a home run and ran me off the top of humor hill.
The kids were brushing their teeth before bed and Jeff was taking the dog out to go to the bathroom. I sit down and unfold the laptop. My desktop picture was gone, it was all black except for a medium sized square picture in the middle: (under "Dishes" it says, "do them. now.")
I refuse to let him see me laugh so when he comes in I try to look like I'm fuming. I'm not mad about the picture, and I'm certainly not going to do the dishes now, I am mad that he's now one up on me. I literally thought my head was going to explode when he finally stopped laughing long enough to stand right in front of me and hold his hand up making a circle motion with the sound effect of a race car getting passed on the track. Up by two, I want to strangle him. I am not funny when I'm mad (seriously, do you know anyone who is?) so he's pretty much got me all night, and he knows it.
For the next two hours I hear joke after joke (which I refuse to admit were pretty funny) and prank after prank and after each and everyone I hear the race car sound effect which makes him laugh even harder at his own wittiness. At one point we were watching NCIS and one character says to another, "She's funny, beautiful... what's not to love." And I say, "Huh. Sounds an awful lot like me, don't you think?" Apparently I interupted the next line, which Jeff so sweetly rewound for me. It was, "Well, that was 12 years ago. She's had a few kids, so I doubt things are the same." I know. I don't even know how I put up with him. He finished that off with the stupid race car again and I almost went for his jugular.
Finally I decide to call it a night and head to bed. He's in the bathroom brushing his teeth when I crawl into bed and freak out when I find a zhu-zhu pet crawling around under the covers on my side of the bed. From the bedroom I can hear him doing the race car noise one last time.
I'll admit. Last night he had me. Big time. But I told him this morning that I'm going to be making up Team Karey and Team Jeff t-shirts and we'll just see how this turns out. It's so not over.
ps. Katherine, you'd better be proudly sporting Team Karey at work. Someone's gotta represent at BowTech.